HIDE THAT BODY THAT I CANNOT BEAR TO SEE!


This post is also available in: French

France / Netherlands – 2013

This work is a hymn to « different » bodies, bodies which sometimes people think should be hidden, but it is above all a hymn to emotions, sentiments, and to the often unexpected amorous relationships that some would wish to forbid. Everyone should have the right to have feelings, to have emotions, to love….all fundamental rights which not everyone enjoys. As if everyone could have everything, as if all you had to do was wish for it for it to happen. This documentary is intended to be an ode to the bodies from which one averts the eye, or which remain hidden away. That twisted body, which, like all bodies, conveys sensuality and emotions….to feel love, a reality shared by all, whatever their appearance, background, or handicap. In our society where erotic codes have become omnipresent and banal, the dictatorship of the image has become an ineluctable constant. But while we are overwhelmed with images of sexuality, and while people have no problem showing themselves off on sunny beaches, “different” bodies pose a problem. The media may talk of the merits of sex and of caresses for our well-being, but they all refer only to the stereotypes of our times and differ little from existing standards. It is rare to see anyone looking at what is actually different. Handicaps are hidden and the sexuality of handicapped people is taboo. Primarily because of their physical condition, but all too often also because “those who can” – friends and relations, medical staff, or even complete strangers – impose limits, the handicapped have little access to sex. Thus in the name of the common good, and of lofty morals, the majority dictates what is acceptable, what should be allowed or not. The individual then finds him or herself confined to a pre-defined lifestyle to which he or she is expected to adapt. And society’s view of the handicap becomes a source of discrimination.This documentary was made with the help various couples, ranging from those in long-term relationships to more fleeting encounters. Among them are some who were not lucky enough to have found a partner, but claim the right to have a sexual existence nonetheless. The photos of Aminata and Daniel, taken in the Netherlands, serve to illustrate this point showing that there is still ample space for tenderness and attention.First appearing in the eighties, sexual assistance is still taboo in France where the authorities see it as just another form of prostitution….especially as it falls within no legal framework. Seen by some as the right to sex, but by others as the marketing of sex, the subject provokes debate and division even while specific training courses exist in several countries in Europe. Is not the situation of the handicapped just a reflection of how people perceive those who are different in their midst? Just because their bodies are “damaged”, should the handicapped have less rights than the others? Should we consider sex for the handicapped as a secondary subject? Perhaps we tend to forget that there is a human being hidden behind a handicap? The barrier between the able-bodied and the handicapped is most often erected by the able bodied, and is generally motivated just by preconceptions or miscomprehension. When those barriers fall, all that remain are two beings who find themselves face to face and …. so alike. This documentary is about looking differently at one another. Handicaps that appear here, fade away elsewhere, and the images are easier to bear. It is proof if need be that it is all a question of appreciation. Why does this difference bother me? Is it not more for me to adapt myself? To take the first step, go beyond the established models and “virtuous” ideas….eternal obstacles! It is the route that the people in the photographs here dared to take. They dare to show themselves to defend a cause that they consider is their own, but really it concerns everyone : is love not universal ?
Jérôme Deya

photographs by Jérôme DEYA

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